Our Little Secret
by Audrey Fulquard
Summary: "On impulse, I take my second risk in as many days and reach for his free hand. His eyes widen, as I hesitate in front of him... we're closer than we've ever been before." Audrey/Seymour


Another long, dreary afternoon at Mushnik & Son: Skid Row's failing florist. I lean on the counter, chin in one hand, fiddling with the corner of a piece of wrapping paper with the other. My dear friend and co-worker, Seymour Krelborn, is trying to keep busy by tending to some of the fading greenery in the tempremental refrigeration unit. Our boss, Mr Mushnik, is sitting in his old chair in the back room - he's fallen asleep again, occasionally waking himself with a guttural snore. I glance up at the clock on the wall... it's only 4.30pm and still another hour and a half till closing time. I let my eyes drift back to the wrapping paper, as I roll it in between my thumb and forefinger. My eyes are growing heavy and the false eyelashes, thick with mascara, are doing nothing to help me keep them open.

I'm so tired today. I didn't sleep much last night after my 'date' with Orin. The painful bruises on my wrists and chest kept on stinging, even after I'd treated them. I managed to find a long-sleeved blouse to wear today but it was too low-cut not to wear a chiffon scarf as well, to cover up the reminders of my night in the alley. I'm absolutely swealtering but I'll be damned if I'm rolling up my sleeves or hanging up my scarf to give Mr Mushnik an excuse to berate me for seeing Orin again. I know he only has my best interests at heart but it's easy for him to tell me to find a nice boy... He wouldn't have a clue how hard that is.

With a sigh, I straighten up and stretch out my arms above me, wincing at the pain of my pulled muscles. As I relax and lean my hip against the counter, I notice that Seymour has looked over from his spot by the display and is staring at me. He seems to do that a lot lately. If it was anyone else I'd find it a little creepy but I can sense that he means me no harm. If anything, and if I may be so bold as to presume, I think he might be admiring me. From a distance of course. Normally he gets embarrassed at being caught out but right now, he can't seem to take his eyes off me. My eyes flicker away momentarily but when I look back he's staring at me... but not at my face... My cheeks flush a little as I get a rush of excitement. This timid, shy little man is standing there, taking me in! I've never seen him behave like this before...

I'm used to lewd comments, grabbing hands and my personal space being invaded by bullish men who think they own me. It's just a way of life here. I put up with it on a regular basis at my other job at a local nightspot, The Gutter. That place really is like a Skid Row gutter, full of drunks with all manner of problems, making passes at the girls who work there. Not just making passes... Taking liberties, any place they can. It's disgusting. And of course, that's where I met Orin, my boyfriend. He was the best of a bad bunch at the time... Charming, naughty, a rebel. And so very handsome... I can't deny his appeal , even now. I can't help but be attracted to him, to get weak at the knees every time he comes near me. He looked out for me once upon a time... walking me home from the club, keeping the other men off my back with just a single glance. I used to feel safe with him. There was no doubt he was always in control, always the boss, but I could accept that. I was happy to do whatever he wanted. But then things changed... his mama passed away suddenly and overnight he became so incredibly angry. He got really controlling… Possessive. It was as if he was scared of losing me… Except he wouldn't admit that. In fact, he stopped talking to me altogether, apart from yelling orders at me. He just started pushing me away… Literally. I can barely get my head around it sometimes… he controls me so tightly but I don't have a clue what's going on in that head of his.

But then there's Seymour. And I can read him like a book. He wears his feelings on his face, every little concern expressed with his soft eyes. I could lose myself in those eyes... He struggles to articulate his thoughts sometimes but I find that I almost always know what he's going to say before he opens his mouth. Right now however, I'm caught a little off guard by his attention. I wonder if this means what I think... hope... it means? With a whistful smile he returns to what he was doing, turning his back on me.

For a moment I feel lost. I can't bear it! I want his attention. I want him to keep looking at me. Before I know it, the urge to cross the shop floor towards him has overcome me and I find myself hovering behind him. I want him to turn so I can embrace him, kiss him passionately and then lead him down to that basement bedroom of his... Mr Mushnik is sound asleep. He'd never hear us... except... I don't think I can control myself! My heart is fluttering and my hands are shaking. He must know I'm standing right behind him... is he ignoring me? Am I scaring him? And suddenly he drops a watering can which clatters to the floor, breaking the silence and waking Mr Mushnik in the back room with a start. Seymour jumps to pick up the can before too much water leeks out, at the same time bumping into me. He grabs the can and stands up, a startled look on his face. He's confused... he didn't know I was there. On impulse, I take my second risk in as many days and reach for his free hand. His eyes widen, as I hesitate in front of him... we're closer than we've ever been before. I hear Mr Mushnik begin to amble about... it's now or never. I tug at his hand and lead him speedily down the stairs to the basement of the shop.

I sit down heavily on his hard, unmade bed and take his other hand. He stands before me and we look at each other, silently catching our breath. Seymour looks so utterly surprised and a little unsure. "Audrey... are you alright?" I tug at his hands, encouraging him to sit down next to me. "I'm fine," I reply. "I'm more than fine..." I add, leaning in to him. I place a gentle kiss on his lips, holding my mouth to his for as long as it takes him to get the idea. We kiss each other slowly, softly, eyes closed. He tentatively puts a hand on my cheek and the kiss grows more intense. I can feel butterflies in my stomach - if I weren't enjoying this moment so much I would jump around and cry with joy. My heart swells with love for him and I have to open my eyes to look at his beautiful face. He is lost... to me. I try to break away to draw a breath but he won't stop. I take his face in both my hands and pull him away briefly, he looks hard done by. I indicate for him to lie down and he obliges, his head of dark mussed up hair resting on the thin pillow behind him. I wriggle up the bed to lie next to him on my side, hooking a leg over his, resting my head on his shoulder. My skirt has hitched up to a distasteful level but for once, I couldn't care less. I put my outstretched hand on his chest and feel his heart beating. The bed is uncomfortable but he is so warm and I am so tired. I feel safe.

"KRELBORN!"

Mr Mushnik's voice bellows down the stairwell. My eyes snap open and I realise that I must've fallen asleep. Seymour has his arms around me, holding me close and reluctant to let me go. I don't think he's been asleep... I think he's just been holding me the whole time, wide awake. With a sigh he shouts back, "Coming Mr Mushnik!" He kisses the top of my head before letting me go. As he climbs the staircase, Seymour looks back at me, still curled up and half asleep on his bed. He gives me the biggest smile I've ever seen cross his face, then disappears out of sight. I know I'll have to follow him shortly to avoid any questions but I lie there for a while, on the bed where he sleeps every night. I like to imagine he spends as many sleepless hours lying here thinking of me, as I do lying in my own cold bed, dreaming of him. One day, we'll be back in this bed together and we'll finish what we started. But for now, it's our little secret...


End file.
